JMWW Journal: Copperfield

Copperfield: An elderly woman in an oppressive small town has “let herself go.” Stopped gardening. Stopped bathing. Dyed all her clothes black. Has given up on humanity until a chance encounter with fourteen year-old Melody; a kindred spirit who’s determined to find herself…by getting lost.

Published October 2024 by JMWW Journal.

I am really proud of this one. It is a quiet tale of the dark side of self-preservation. The dangerous side of self-actualization. The risks inherent in one’s quest for autonomy.

When I wrote it I was thinking, is freedom ever possible?

An excerpt:

I knew I smelled. But it was such a curious scent and I grew to like it. Every day it became more dense, more pungent, like my roses used to during the time they unfolded until just after the height of their bloom. It alarmed me. I didn’t know a human body could smell like that. At a certain point though, once about every four weeks, it got so bad that I couldn’t stand it and that’s when I filled a little bucket and gave my hairy parts a wash with a bar of lye. I stopped washing my hair altogether except when it rained. When the drops came down hard I went out behind the greenhouse, took off my clothes, scrubbed my hair with that same bar of lye and let the rain wash it down. The first time I stood naked in the rain, that was when I made peace with my decision to quit church. The rain washed my feet. Jesus never did. It was sunny and I saw a rainbow and I thought that’s God enough for me.

Again, head on over to JMWW Journal for the unfolding of Ethel Kelly Copperfield’s journey.

A few things were going through my head while writing this. One, I myself was musing on the fact that I have recently “let myself go,” as it were. I used to have a career that demanded monthly haircuts, pressed suits, buffed nails. No longer. Today I find myself in my Goblin Era. So, rolling with it.

Secondly, I recalled something Larry David said in the final season of Curb. Something like, “I’m seventy (something) years old, and I’ve never learned a lesson in my entire life.” We are led to believe that age softens us. Brings automatic wisdom. And I suppose it might…but it is more complex than that. Maybe wisdom means succumbing to the fact that our destinies are out of our control.

I dunno, I like the story. I hope you do, too.

P.S. Drawing above by me, circa 2010, when I had this thing about finding pictures of old people in thrift stores and drawing their portraits. Pictures of old people just tossed out and given away to thrift stores have always made me sad.